It is currently six degrees in my home-sweet-home Chicago. Six. I'm a born and raised Michigander, but not even the Michigan winters could prepare me for the icy hell that is Chicago windchill. The bitter cold, I believe, comes from a combination of the wind from Lake Michigan and a bitter warlock's curse due to his inability to score tickets to Hamilton. When the wind picks up, and it's already six degrees, all a stuck-outside sucker can do is laugh-cry into the scarf that's covering their entire face until their tears freeze their eyes shut. Not that I know this from experience, or anything. Thankfully, I am not currently in Chicago, suckerrrrrrrrrrz!!!! I'm in Florida, baby, the land of primate sanctuaries and Harry Potter World, and where "cold" means 50 degrees, not five. While I left Michigan to go to Chicago, my parents opted instead to move somewhere with ocean breezes instead of lake-effect snow. Personally, I could never live here. As much as I complain about cold weather, I'm even less of a hot weather person. I'm so pale that my skin is brighter and more dangerous to stare at than the sun itself. I'll inevitably have some sort of sun poisoning by the end of the week, and will be longing again for dove-grey skies that promise snow, but at least I'll have SPF 500 sunscreen in my eyes instead of frozen tears and regret.
I couldn't decide what self-care method to talk about today, the first official day of my vacation. Vacation usually means lots of self-care. I'm spending time with my family (and with my dog, Buster Brown, the GOODEST GOOD BOY IN THE WORLD); I'm eating lots of delicious food (and by food I mean wine); I'm sleeping in a warm bed that doesn't have a permanently cracked window behind it. Any of these could have merited a post. Especially Buster Brown. However, as I tossed around ideas this morning, my dad, who would like the world to know that he was a blogger first and is ALSO writing a book, suggested that I write about morning routines. At this, I almost stood up, left the room, and went right back to bed. I hate mornings. I also hate routines. In conclusion, I hate morning routines. I am not a morning person, nor a routine person. I do not enjoy waking up and leaving my bed. I am not fond of squinting at my mortal enemy, the sun, as it vengefully pierces my retinas with its rays. I read of so many people who have elaborate morning routines--exercise followed by a fruit smoothie and tea, then a hot bath and some Kiehl's products and a full hair and makeup routine, and then planning one's entire life and afterlife in a bigass planner with a golden fountain pen and ink one created themselves from a combination of coffee grounds and bath bombs--and I always think, without exception, wow, cool, I would rather be sleeping. No matter how enticing the morning, I would always, always rather be sleeping. (Unless I was in high school and my friends wanted to go to the diner for breakfast before school. I am usually motivated by food, especially if I don't have to cook it myself and it is the house special for under $5.) But, what the hell, I'm on vacation! It was a lazy weekend morning!! I didn't have to wake up and get ready in three-and-a-half minutes because I slept in too late before work!!! So, without further ado: SELF-CARE METHOD: LAZY MORNING ROUTINE MOOD RATING (from 1 to 100, with 1 being the worst): 44 EMOTIONS: exhausted, depressed, unsettled, content, grateful Since I don't usually do mornings, I took plenty of examples from my parents. My mom and dad always eat breakfast; usually, I run out the door and eat about three hours into work. Today, we had cereal and fresh fruit, and my dad made some elaborate tea latte that we're all very impressed by. This also had the added bonus of making me take my meds first thing in the morning, as opposed to mid-day, when I belatedly remember to eat and chug them down with some Mountain Dew and berate myself for chasing my antidepressants with caffeinated jet fuel. Then, after we sat and watched the news for a while, my mom and I stretched for several minutes as Buster Brown judged us from the corner of the room. I tried to keep the rest of my morning as pampering as possible. When I took a shower, I listened to my favorite playlist and rapped My Shot with 94% accuracy. I took the time to put on makeup and do my hair. I got into a gentle religious debate with my father. In short, I did more enjoyable things before noon than I usually do in an entire day. POST-CARE MOOD RATING: 55 POST-CARE EMOTIONS: exhausted, depressed, silly, happy, excited What I enjoyed about this routine was that it felt like I was using my time efficiently. Even though I was moving at a snail's pace, I still accomplished multiple small tasks and felt a sense of satisfaction as a result. Therefore, I got more done than I would have had I slept in and leapt out of bed with minutes to spare before departure. I also, not surprisingly, felt far less anxious than I usually do when I first wake up. Instead of listening to the frantic thump-thump of my frazzled heart, my morning's soundtrack was the conversation of my parents, the birdsong outside, the murmur of voices on the news. I was able to practice mindfulness by focusing on small sensations: the teacup's warmth between my palms, and the gentle nudge of the mascara wand against my lashes (that's kind of a nice feeling, you know? is that just a me thing??), and the dumb dancing I did in my room with my wet hair still in a towel turban. I felt present instead of panicked, calm instead of chaotic. It was nice. The downside is that this routine isn't realistic for every day. For some people, it may not even be realistic on the weekends. I'm still young and single and childless and have no one to take care of besides myself and my raccoon-sized cat. I can focus as much or as little of my morning on myself as I want. However, for the people who have to work or feed the baby or take the dog out at 5 a.m., the luxury of a "morning routine" may seem laughable at best, and insulting at worst. I also have not magically transformed into a morning person. Even though morning routines are supposed to make waking up early more enjoyable, I still can't imagine myself ever jumping out of bed ready to do yoga and rap along to Hamilton. In reality, an evening routine seems far more preferable to me--a nice hour of winding down, music-listening and book-reading and cat-snuggling in the sleepy twilight. That way, even if I maintained the chaos of my morning, I would at least have something structured and soothing to look forward to at night, when I'm marginally less grumpy and more functional. Ultimately, I was proud of myself for taking most of the morning to be kind to myself. Tomorrow morning, however, I will inevitably sleep until three minutes before we have to be somewhere. After all, people, Rome, like good habits, wasn't built in a day. GIMME YOUR WORDS
8 Comments
Deana
1/7/2017 09:06:55 pm
I am loving your blog, Dani!
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Stephanie
1/7/2017 09:07:45 pm
I'm a total night owl, though I wish I wasn't. I get so much creative and ambitious energy around midnight.
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Ashley
1/8/2017 05:10:15 am
-I am a morning person, meaning I always wake horrifyingly early, no matter how late I stay up.
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Livy
1/8/2017 05:43:03 am
--I guess I'm more of a morning person than a night person. When I wake up and see that I've slept in past 9:00, I feel like I've wasted my morning (even if that morning only consists of being on the Internet).
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Meleah
1/8/2017 05:47:30 am
I really love the idea of an evening routine! Like you said, my mornings are mostly dictated by the whims of the two small children in my house who would have you believe that they are always STARVING, and want food RIGHT NOW PLEASE, MAMA. But I like the idea of setting aside quiet, healing time in the evenings.
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Meleah
1/8/2017 05:50:15 am
In reality, my ink would likely be made of baby drool, instant coffee, and the third lunchables this week (don'tjudgeme).
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Kiersten White
1/8/2017 08:23:55 am
I would say I have always been a night person, but somedays, I would definitely choose to sleep forever.
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Alyson
1/8/2017 08:53:49 am
My body hates sleep, so a mixture of both?
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