Firstly, I'd like to announce that this is the End of the Third Day of my vacation, and I have not yet sustained a life-threatening sunburn. Secondly, I'd like to announce that, while sitting on the beach today, I held a sour cream and cheddar potato chip up to my mouth and apparently invited a seagull to immediately hover six inches from my face, ready to strike, prompting me to yell "I MADE A MISTAKE!!!!!!" and scare the bejeesus out of the frightened children around us until the seagull flew away. I am equally proud of each of these accomplishments. I am less proud of the fact that I'm basking in the glow of sun and surf when, back home, my poor cat is shivering in the winter wind blowing in through my cracked bedroom window. Seeing people brag about their vacations on social media is like seeing all of your friends getting engaged, or getting puppies, or winning the lottery. It feels spiteful. It feels personal. The sensation is as if they're rubbing their love and puppy snuggles and money in your face while you kneel in the ruins of your less-exciting life. If you're currently feeling attacked by my talk of sunburn and seagull encounters, I deeply apologize. I've been there. However, in an inelegant transition, I'd like to propose that you be somewhere, too. And by somewhere, I mean somewhere else. SELF-CARE METHOD: GETAWAY! MOOD RATING, PRE-(This is weird. Like, mood rating today? Or pre-vacation? I'll do pre-vacation)VACATION: like, 2 EMOTIONS: depressed, sad, stuck, angry, anxious, frazzled Now, before you get all excited, I'd like to remind everyone that this is only day four of my blog, and that I don't have the readers and sponsors necessary to give away an all-expenses paid vacation. (Maybe that's some incentive: tell your friends and grandparents and mailpeople to read this blog, and maybe someday I can give away an all-expenses paid vacation!!!! Or maybe like a $8 bottle of wine, or something.) I also am painfully aware that, for many, vacations are impossible. Work schedules are grueling. Life is unforgiving. A vacation isn't a self-care method that can be completed in 15 minutes and obtained for free. However, I do think that there are many different ways to take a vacation. I'm very lucky to be in Florida for a week and to have a flexible enough job to allow me to do that (and a roommate to take care of my cat; thanks, Cass!). For the other 358 days of the year, though, I will most likely be stuck in my city, trying desperately to earn enough money that I don't have to subsist on ramen noodles and self-deprecation. That's when some creativity's gotta be employed. If you can't take a vacation, can you curl up on your couch with a good book, stick an umbrella in your drink, and listen to the Beach Boys? Sure! If you only have a few minutes, can you close your eyes and imagine the crash of the waves, the shrieking of the seagulls, the warmth of the sand against your palms, the touch of the sun upon your face? Darn tootin', you can! I don't intend for this to sound trite; I know that actually laying on a beach beats any pale imitations. However, if you can't afford an actual vacation, a respite from your own mind may be the next best idea. To get away also might not mean leaving the state, or even your own city. On days when I can't stand the thought of staying in my apartment--when I'm about to crawl out of my skin with anxiety--I pack my purse up with a book, a notebook, and my favorite pens, and flee to a coffee shop. Or a diner. Or somewhere where I can get a really good chai latte for really cheap. Being publicly alone can be simultaneously relaxing and thrilling. It feels like a vacation to be in an unfamiliar location, even if it shares my same zipcode, and to be surrounded by unfamiliar people, even if there's a chance I'll bump into them someday on the el. But to get away--to really get away--is a luxurious form of self-care that I'm so glad to be experiencing. Even though it's hot and I'm sweaty and my skin will peel and my SPF 1,000,000 stings my eyes, I am tickled to be in a state where it's 80 degrees in January. To lull myself to sleep, I often imagine that I'm rowing a boat through the ocean, the sky and sea dark as velvet, the moon full and rippling as I disturb its reflection. Today, I stood in the actual ocean, with my arms spread wide in the actual warm salty air, and my depression and anxiety felt a little bit smaller when compared to something so beautiful and vast. Whether you get away to your room, to your favorite restaurant, to a seaside resort, to another country, or even just to a calmer headspace, I hope you get to experience that feeling, too.
Also, you bet your bottom dollar that my next post is going to be a photo dump of Harry Potter World, so start getting away to somewhere that will allow you to mentally handle that. ALRIGHT Y'ALL NOW TALK TO ME
2 Comments
Livy
1/10/2017 07:20:31 pm
So happy you were able to get away for a bit!
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Dani
1/10/2017 07:51:19 pm
Oh, my God, I used to do that ALL THE TIME! I would write whole novels in my head based on playlists of songs I made "music videos" up to. I love that! I'm going to need to write some mental Hamilton fic myself...
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